Finding Fairness: Navigating Perceived Favouritism in the Workplace
Have you ever been part of a team where someone seems to effortlessly breeze through the day, getting only positive attention of the manager? I certainly have. No matter what my colleague did or said, our boss beamed at them and couldn’t fault them. This special connection also protected my colleague from extra work they didn’t want to do like helping me when I was still new and got overwhelmed with work at some point. So much for teamwork.
While personal connections are inevitable, favouritism in the workplace can leave a bitter taste, eroding individual well-being and poisoning team spirit. This article delves into the complex world of favouritism, offering you the tools to distinguish it from healthy relationships and navigate its potential consequences.
Understanding Relationships
The intricate dynamic between leaders and their team members is known as Leader-Member Exchange (LMX). High-LMX relationships are characterized by trust, frequent interaction, and open information sharing. If you find yourself talking easily and often with your boss, be it about work or casual chats, you are likely to have a high LMX relationship.
Conversely, low-LMX relationships have limited interaction and trust and information sharing is limited. If this is you, you might feel that your communication with your boss is limited, mainly focused on tasks and progresses and they tell you only as much as you need to know.
It is important to understand that work relationships evolve naturally, like other relationships. They usually start as lower LMX and gradually progress towards higher LMX as trust and understanding deepen.
Birds of a feather: When Similarities Foster Connection
Shared experiences and characteristics act as magnetic forces, drawing people together. Imagine joining a diverse team where only your supervisor speaks your mother tongue or shares your passion for the great outdoors. These commonalities give you two lots to talk about and give you opportunities to “click”, which can foster a high-LMX connection. However, it’s crucial to remember that high LMX is not the same as favouritism. It’s simply a natural human tendency to gravitate towards those who resonate with us.
Unmasking the True Face of Favouritism
Distinguishing toxic favouritism from a healthy high-LMX relationship requires keen observation and a broader perspective. Is your boss consistently showering opportunities on certain individuals but not on others without offering clear explanations or transparent reasoning? Does this pattern create a noticeable imbalance within the team, significantly impacting career progression and overall dynamics? Well, you might be witnessing favouritism.
The Ripple Effect: When Fairness Erodes
It is important to understand that beyond the formal employment contract lies an unwritten agreement, a “psychological contract”. It consists of the expectations and implicit promises of employee manager like fair treatment for the former and honest reporting of worked hours for the latter. Favouritism can shatter these unspoken understandings, breeding feelings of unfairness, resentment, and demotivation. Imagine the frustration of consistently putting in your best effort, only to see recognition and opportunities bypass you without explanation. This can impact not only your motivation but also your overall well-being and performance.
Taking Charge of Your Experience
Before you pack your bags and march towards the exit, or worse, succumb to a victim mentality, it’s crucial to take a mental step back and engage in some honest self-reflection:
- Have you unintentionally distanced yourself from your supervisor?
- Has your performance been consistently meeting expectations?
- Is it possible that your view is biased because you are bitter about something your manager did?
Addressing these internal questions before taking outward action can provide valuable insights. If you’ve addressed these concerns internally but still feel put on the side-lines, consider a respectful conversation with your supervisor. Seek clarification on decision-making processes and opportunities for advancement. Remember, communication is key, so approach the dialogue with a calm and open mind. Additionally, seeking advice from a trusted colleague or mentor can offer valuable perspective and support. Remember that good communication is key for fruitful relationships.
If you are a manager
As mentioned earlier: we are all human and we naturally click better with some people than with others. As a leader of a team it is your responsibility to treat them fairly. Because everyone is different, it is essential to tend to each of your team members differently in order to give them what they need: some might need a lot of reassurance while others seem happiest when left alone doing their work. These differences in treatment however can be a slippery slope towards unconscious favouritism. Apart from having regular individual check-ins with your team, take some time for self-reflection and ask yourself if you are fair. Here are some questions to get you started:
- Do you offer praise and opportunities to everyone?
- Do you find yourself talking more to one or some than to others? If yes, why do you think that is?
- Do you measure the performance of each team member on the same standards?
- Do you let things like lack of punctuality slide for some people but not for others?
- Have you unintentionally distanced yourself from one or more persons in your team?
- Are you making enough effort to build a relationship with everyone in your team?
If you catch yourself favouring one or some members of your team over others, make a conscious effort to balance the way you offer praise, critique and opportunities. Talk to your team and own it if you need to correct your course. Be honest and transparent.
Summary
- All relationships are different and they usually grow closer with time.
- It is normal to have high-LMX relationships with some and low-LMX relationships with others.
- Not all perceived inequalities are a sign of favouritism.
- Step back and reflect: are your views or actions biased?
- If something is not right, address it calmly and respectfully.
